I don’t know why people think horror movies make good date movies. Sure the girl may get scared and you get to protect her and all that. But if you’re a girl, sometimes the guy gets scared — and you resent and pity him for being a coward. Also, a lot of horror movies are also actually the anti makeout movie because of how easy it is for movies to remind you that tongues are weird, giant organs that can turn into monsters. And that kissing someone is also a great opportunity to bite someone’s face off.
Because it’s National Kissing Day (KISSING? BARF!), here are a bunch of movies to not watch tonight.